AustNode IRC Quotes Database

#57 (+|-) (Rated: 5)
<Rain> u catch any fish?
<helly> nah
<helly> too much fresh water
<helly> not even any bait around
<Kayla> or fisherman too shit ey
<helly> whatever
<helly> fuckk off
<Kayla> :D
<Rain> lol kayla

#84 (+|-) (Rated: 5)
* PugMug is wishing puggy would lay the fuck down on my lap instead of playing "lets stab mommy with these 80 kg toes and see how many bruises I can make"
<Just_Pax> feed him a hash cookie ;)
<PugMug> I don't have any to give her
<Just_Pax> bugger
<Just_Pax> hmmmmm
<Just_Pax> has puggy got her / his claw/toenails trimmed?
<PugMug> yes.. she just pushes really hard down on my legs.. it's her paw pads that do it

#42 (+|-) (Rated: 4)
* TheAstro30 farts on rain  
* Rain sticks fan in theastro30s ass  
* TheAstro30 turns in to a hover craft
* Rain presses the start button on the hover craft
<^bozoJim> haha
* TheAstro30 putts around the room
<TheAstro30> bbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrooommmmmm

#7 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<Monopoly-away> Who are you ?
<Zuul> i am Zuul...teh monster in the fridge....and who are you? ;)
<Monopoly-away> I am bonko the floating monkey
<Monopoly-away> but im my spare time Im a stripper
<Zuul> yeah well, in my spare time i dress as a giant spider and fight crime

#12 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<TheAstro30> I had macaroni cheese for dinner tonight ... just went to fart, nearly macaronied my pants

#19 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<helly> did you see my first act as staff?  
<helly> [20:13:48] -OperServ- Kayla has been joined to #iamaweiner.
<Kayla> you're an idiot helly
<Kayla> lol

#25 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<musicdrummer> Parking is as bad as driving in LA
<Pinky> I can pack my car into a good space too
<musicdrummer> I guess you're driving
<Pinky> Nah I'll need to fly

#54 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<PugMug> when my sons were 7 and 5 I had to give them the "Pee Wee Herman Sermon"
<helly> haha what is that PugMug?
<PugMug> I basically told them that Pee Wee got arrested for wanking it in public.. it's natural but the pubic can't handle nature... so keep it to yourself

#64 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<Sarah> Hmmm. I think the good glass is in your lovely daughters room as a makeup cleaning cup
<helly> stop rubbing it in Sarah

#69 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<helly> this dinner hates me tonight
<helly> cut some chilis for it
<helly> washed my hands
<helly> wiped my eye 5 mins later
<^bozojim> lol
<helly> burning chilli eye
<^bozojim> ouchies
<helly> sauce spat at me when I stirred it
<helly> burned my arm
<helly> then pouring the pasta water out
<helly> burnt my finger
<helly> fml
<helly> I swear I usually do a decent job
<helly> haha
<helly> it's just tonight that seems to have gone wrong for me
<helly> haha
<helly> fucking hell

#72 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<GordonRamsay> I went to go get KFC before, right
<GordonRamsay> and I'm in the drivethru, a few cars in front. So, it's my turn at the box, no one said anything yet so I'm looking at the menu board
<GordonRamsay> I see all these other burgers and shit and I'm like "where the fuck's the ultimate box"
<GordonRamsay> I'm slightly confused, so I peer out the top of windscreen at the overhead sign...
<GordonRamsay> I'm in fucking Hungry Jacks drivethru, not KFC
<GordonRamsay> KFC, is right next door ... idiot
<GordonRamsay> lucky I didn't say anything when the girl asked for my order, otherwise I'd have looked like a complete dickhead asking for an ultimate box meal at a hungry jacks...
<GordonRamsay> i had one of those "derpa derp" moments ... like, how I didn't notice the overhead 3 cars back is beyond me

#75 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
* Kayla waits for PugMug to pass the bong around
* PugMug puffs and passes to Kayla
* Kayla passes out...light weight
<PugMug> lol

#80 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
[February 08, 2020 10:55:16 am] <helly> heya PugMug
[February 08, 2020 10:55:19 am] <helly> how's things today
[February 08, 2020 10:55:32 am] <PugMug> quiet so far.. you?
[February 08, 2020 10:55:47 am] <helly> same here
[February 08, 2020 10:56:25 am] <helly> I got a dog I am giving away! Want her!!?
[February 08, 2020 10:57:10 am] <helly> cos if you don't take her she is going in the bin!
[February 08, 2020 11:11:25 am] <PugMug> I can't afford her
[February 08, 2020 11:13:42 am] <helly> oh well in the bin it is!
[February 08, 2020 11:13:42 am] <helly> haha
[February 08, 2020 11:19:32 am] <Kayla> you're not putting my doggo in the bin
[February 08, 2020 11:19:40 am] <helly> well then
[February 08, 2020 11:19:50 am] <helly> how about I open the gate and let her "go for a run"
[February 08, 2020 11:19:55 am] <Kayla> :o
[February 08, 2020 11:20:11 am] <helly> or I could take her fishing and "let her chase the bait into the water"
[February 08, 2020 11:20:18 am] <Kayla> :(
[February 08, 2020 11:20:42 am] <Kayla> she just doesn't want wet feet
[February 08, 2020 11:21:00 am] <helly> oh what fucking princess bullshit is that!
[February 08, 2020 11:21:11 am] <Kayla> lol
[February 08, 2020 11:21:13 am] <helly> she's a cunt
[February 08, 2020 11:21:28 am] <Kayla> she's been hanging out with you too much :P
[February 08, 2020 11:21:35 am] <helly> :o
[February 08, 2020 01:42:44 pm] <Rain> bwahahaha
[February 08, 2020 01:42:50 pm] <Rain> what u two fighting about now ;p
[February 08, 2020 02:14:32 pm] <Kayla> rain - my doggo pissed beside his smoking chair :P
[February 08, 2020 02:14:58 pm] <helly> after taking a dump inside this morning
[February 08, 2020 02:15:04 pm] <helly> and pissing in the house the night before
[February 08, 2020 02:15:14 pm] <helly> and pissing in my smoking spot the day before
[February 08, 2020 02:15:15 pm] <Kayla> and taking a dump inside the day before?
[February 08, 2020 02:15:22 pm] <helly> and doing a dump near it the day before that
[February 08, 2020 02:15:25 pm] <Kayla> lol
[February 08, 2020 02:15:32 pm] <helly> fucking cunt of a dog
[February 08, 2020 02:15:34 pm] <Kayla> she doesn't like going down the side in the rain!
[February 08, 2020 02:15:43 pm] <helly> obviously
[February 08, 2020 02:15:44 pm] <Kayla> she's fully annoying
[February 08, 2020 02:15:54 pm] <Kayla> but she's not going in the bin
[February 08, 2020 02:15:57 pm] <Kayla> or for a run
[February 08, 2020 02:16:00 pm] <Kayla> or for a swim
[February 08, 2020 02:16:28 pm] <helly> maybe she'll "find" some chocolate
[February 08, 2020 02:16:42 pm] <Kayla> maybe she'll find herself at the vet with a big bill...
[February 08, 2020 02:16:50 pm] <Kayla> to fix her i mean lol
[February 08, 2020 02:17:19 pm] <Kayla> remember helly, she's the same dog we were discussing not paying thousands to fix when she got bitten by the snake
[February 08, 2020 02:17:25 pm] <Kayla> and you said we should pay...
[February 08, 2020 02:17:42 pm] <helly> she hadn't pissed in my spot at that point
[February 08, 2020 02:17:43 pm] <helly> haha
[February 08, 2020 02:17:51 pm] <Kayla> i'm sure she had at some other time
[February 08, 2020 02:18:22 pm] <helly> I'm going to spray her with the hose if she does it again
[February 08, 2020 02:18:26 pm] <helly> doesn't like being wet
[February 08, 2020 02:18:27 pm] <Kayla> she won't care
[February 08, 2020 02:18:30 pm] <helly> we'll see about tha
[February 08, 2020 02:18:41 pm] <Kayla> she'll just sulk and do it again later
[February 08, 2020 02:18:55 pm] <Kayla> probs just to piss you off then too

#83 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<^bozoJim> aww
<^bozoJim> croaked it?
<Just_Pax> nah :)
<Just_Pax> weird, it came up stairs
<^bozoJim> cane toad?
<Just_Pax> jumped on my foot and jumped off again
<Just_Pax> yep
<^bozoJim> yikes
<Just_Pax> yeah, scared me a bit, too!
<Just_Pax> Me to the cane toad : Errm, you're not supposed to do that to my foot unannounced
<Just_Pax> CaneToad : FU ;)
<Rain> lol pax

#85 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<@Just_Pax> so what do you do for a crust, Stud?
<@StudMuffin> crust?
<@Just_Pax> yeah, aussie slang.... means: What do you do for a living?
<@StudMuffin> i'm a retired master electrician. i'm qualified to remove your shorts. lol
<@Just_Pax> I think i'll just call you Stu from now on, either that or stewie ;)
<@StudMuffin> lol

#87 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<Rain> im gonna take a quick shower shortly
<Rain> i need a good wash xD
<Rain> armpits are yelling out to me washhhhh meeeee
<Just_Pax> yeah, my groin is starting to get a bit smelly, too ;)
<Rain> lol
<Rain> funny pax
<Just_Pax> when it starts to smell like an unkempt fish market, means it's time to have a shower ;)
<Just_Pax> You know i am :)
<Rain> lol a fish market
<Rain> :o
<Just_Pax> not a clean one
* helly gags
<Just_Pax> an unkempt one :P
<Just_Pax> yeah, hehe
<Rain> lol look what u did to helly lol
<Just_Pax> yeah, i stole his ducky ;)
* Just_Pax is now known as Scotchy_McScotchFace
* Scotchy_McScotchFace is now known as Scrathy_McCrotchFace
* Scrathy_McCrotchFace is now known as Scratchy_McCrotchFace
* Scrathy_McCrotchFace is now known as Scratchy_McCrotchFace
<Scratchy_McCrotchFace> seems to be a rather fitting nick right now :)
<Rain> rofl

#89 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<Just_Pax> Ugh, still not cold enough
<Just_Pax> i like mine frosty cold
<Just_Pax> you know how you get cola so cold, that when you open it up and it starts freezing and turns into a slush puppy?
<Just_Pax> then you have to squeeze it out into a glass and it looks like the bottle is taking a shit?
<helly> lmfao I never get that

#111 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
[June 28, 2020 03:38:31 pm] <TheAstro30> how was that 19 seconds
[June 28, 2020 03:38:35 pm] <TheAstro30> it only just appeared
[June 28, 2020 03:38:36 pm] <TheAstro30> ?
[June 28, 2020 03:39:37 pm] <Just_Pax> my scrotal cyst?
[June 28, 2020 03:39:41 pm] <Just_Pax> ;)
[June 28, 2020 03:39:45 pm] <TheAstro30> the duck...
[June 28, 2020 03:39:49 pm] <Just_Pax> oh.
[June 28, 2020 03:39:54 pm] <TheAstro30> i don't want to really know about your scrotum
[June 28, 2020 03:40:04 pm] <Just_Pax> they're fun to pop :)
[June 28, 2020 03:40:10 pm] <TheAstro30> ...
[June 28, 2020 03:40:17 pm] <TheAstro30> i hope you're talking about the ducks
[June 28, 2020 03:40:39 pm] <Just_Pax> if it helps you sleep any better at night, then yes ;)
[June 28, 2020 03:40:47 pm] <Just_Pax> but no. :P
[June 28, 2020 03:40:58 pm] <TheAstro30> ok...your scrotum aside
[June 28, 2020 03:41:17 pm] <Just_Pax> which way? left or right?
[June 28, 2020 03:41:28 pm] <TheAstro30> whatever floats your boat
[June 28, 2020 03:41:44 pm] <Just_Pax> i'd rather you not touch my scrotum.....
[June 28, 2020 03:41:57 pm] <TheAstro30> i don't WANT to touch your scrotum
[June 28, 2020 03:42:13 pm] <Just_Pax> yes, yes, very well then....
[June 28, 2020 03:42:31 pm] <Just_Pax> my birds need feeding ;)
[June 28, 2020 03:42:49 pm] <TheAstro30> dun dun dun da da dun dun dun da da MY SCROTUM!
[June 28, 2020 03:46:44 pm] <Just_Pax> Myyyyyyy Carona!

#113 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
[July 10, 2020 06:35:13 am] * SmellyAnus farts
[July 10, 2020 06:37:14 am] <Rain> with ur stench i doubt the wuhan virus could surivie in ur zone xD
[July 10, 2020 06:37:40 am] <Rain> instant spray and murdered gone
[July 10, 2020 06:38:33 am] <SmellyAnus> lol
[July 10, 2020 06:38:46 am] * SmellyAnus farts again
[July 10, 2020 06:38:49 am] <SmellyAnus> x_x
[July 10, 2020 06:42:39 am] * Rain holds a sermon on the pub floor ....
[July 10, 2020 06:45:14 am] <Rain> dearly beloved fartasses, SmellyAnus was a gassy person who farted majority of his life, in his final moments of anti-stench freedom, he enjoyed IRC and making youtube videos, in his final moments he went to maccas came back farted and passed away
[July 10, 2020 06:45:23 am] <SmellyAnus> lol
[July 10, 2020 06:45:47 am] <Rain> may he be remembered as gassy gus :)
[July 10, 2020 06:45:52 am] <Rain> the end
[July 10, 2020 06:45:54 am] <Rain> xD

#114 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
[July 15, 2020 03:18:59 pm] <bork> Aaaaaaaafternoon
[July 15, 2020 03:19:06 pm] <Rain> hey tork the bork xD
[July 15, 2020 03:19:16 pm] <bork> ^^ yeah!
[July 15, 2020 03:19:38 pm] <Just_Pax> bork man ;)
[July 15, 2020 03:19:41 pm] * bork has been cleared by the doc
[July 15, 2020 03:19:47 pm] <Rain> great news
[July 15, 2020 03:19:50 pm] <Just_Pax> ooooh :)
[July 15, 2020 03:19:54 pm] <bork> No serious probs. They want to look in my gi
[July 15, 2020 03:19:55 pm] * Rain gives bork some beers
[July 15, 2020 03:19:56 pm] <Just_Pax> sweet :)
[July 15, 2020 03:19:58 pm] <bork> Tum though
[July 15, 2020 03:20:03 pm] <bork> Endoscope soon
[July 15, 2020 03:20:12 pm] <Rain> is that where they shove a cam up ur butt bork?
[July 15, 2020 03:20:22 pm] <Just_Pax> no rain :P
[July 15, 2020 03:20:31 pm] <Just_Pax> that's a colonoscopy

#1 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> <helly> but nobody cares about that --- you still complaining?
<Kayla> evening everyone :)
<^bozoJim> hello Kayla
<Kayla> heya jim
<Rain> lmao kayla

#2 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> fuck
<helly> stinky
<helly> stinky
<helly> stinky
<helly> dog
* helly gags
<helly> haha
* Kayla dies
<helly> Kayla is waving it away with her book
<Kayla> blowing it your way
<Kayla> if i'm dying, so are you
<helly> it smells like she ate something dead
<helly> and then shat it out
<helly> and then ate it again
<helly> and then farted
<Kayla> her guts are rancid
<Kayla> take her to the vet
<helly> they'd just say there's nothing they can do
<helly> and offer to put her down
<helly> lol
<Kayla> she'd smell better dead than she does right now
<Rain> roflmao
<Rain> sure tablets can do something?
<Rain> poor dog
<Rain> but u both r smelling it bad lol
<Kayla> maybe charcol tablets...i hear theyre good for stomach issues

#6 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<McFlyDaCSharpGuy> that bird in the morning is pissing me off tho  
<McFlyDaCSharpGuy> 6:05am it started attacking the fucking window
<McFlyDaCSharpGuy> so I got up, said fuck you, threw a pillow at window and it fucked off

#13 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<DrEggman> brb I need a piss
<DrEggman> piss completed
<DrEggman> was amazing

#15 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> it's not even that cold ffs
<Kayla> shut up, i love my air con
<helly> yet Kayla is blasting the aircon at 26, I am sweating my arse off haha
<Kayla> shit, lets not move to Tassie

#16 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> I feel attacked, I posted QUEENSLANDER! in a Go The Blues thread in a forum I visit. Their reply was - I hope we aren't typing to fast for you  
* helly cries
<Pinky> Hahahahhaha
<Kayla> suck it\

#17 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Pinky> Come on
* helly aims
<Pinky> Haha
<Pinky> Go away
<Pinky> :o
<Pinky> Take Kayla for a walk
<Pinky> Heheh
<helly> it's too cold outside for her
<helly> she'd complain the whole time  

#18 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Rain> brb toilet calls
<Kayla> are you over sharing again?
<Kayla> :D

#20 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<PugMug> I suck.. I don't remember what mine is... and I'm too stoned to remember... don't judge... lol
<Pinky> LOL
<Pinky> Hahahah

#21 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Crissy> i was stoned lst night
<PugMug> my son bought me a half gram of pineapple express in a vape cartridge
<Pinky> Is that a flavoured mull mix?
<PugMug> yes
<Pinky> Sounds fancy  
<PugMug> meh.. it's okay... it gets me stoned without all the mess.. so that's a bonus

#23 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> haha no one listens to you
* helly cattle prods Kayla
<Kayla> :o
<Kayla> how rude
<helly> I'll show you something rude!
<Kayla> no thanks
<helly> :o
<Rain> LOL
<Rain> told!
<Kayla> he knows his place, he just tests the boundaries a child  

#26 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
* Rain wonders where theastro30 has been
<Revolver> his gone wanking ... em i mean walking Laughing Out Loud

#27 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Pinky> Some people get paid to sing for a living. ME.. people pay me to stop singing lol

#29 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> though will enjoy my bed tonight!
<helly> errr
<helly> I have to share with you again??  
<mozza> omg
<mozza> shut up helly :P
<mozza> kayla put him on the lounge haha  
<helly> that's her spot lol
<mozza> lmaooooooooooooo  

#30 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Pinky> I'm a shocker camping :/
<Kayla> haha how so?
<helly> like pass out drunk before the tent is up shocker?
<helly> :P
<Pinky> Last time I went camping I chased some dude with a fry pan lol  
<Kayla> :o
<helly> lol  

#31 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> bbs, helly is being demanding
<mozza> hahahaaa
<Kayla> xx
<mozza> i wont ask what for

#33 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Rain> u two as parents got it tough
<helly> sometimes I think we do
<helly> other times I feel like selling them on gumtree

#36 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> glad you waited helly, you picked shit one lol
<helly> haha fuck off
<helly> it was good
<Kayla> was tiny
<helly> I've obviously got you accustomed to large things :P
<Kayla> indeedy

#38 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> our internet seems to be playing up a bit last night/today too
<Kayla> helly thinks that smallest brat has tried to do something to it lol

#40 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<^bozoJim> try being accused of making pot holes
<^bozoJim> when I fart
<TheAstro30> LOL
<@^bozoJim> and one says if I ever got into the snow if I let rip I would melyt it behind me in a rocket blast<-wtf
<^bozoJim> light it up and I  rocket donw the snow
<TheAstro30> you need to call NASA
<TheAstro30> you have invented a new form of rocket propulsion
<^bozoJim> lol

#41 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<TheAstro30> my tits stink
<TheAstro30> i must lactate or some shit
<helly> you're a dairy factory! :P  
<helly> milk and cheese
<TheAstro30> LMFAO
<TheAstro30> fuck YOU!
<helly> comon' that was good hahah

#46 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<DrEggman> I'm in the shower
<TheAstro30> with your phone talking on IRC?
<Rain> waterproof phone ?
<DrEggman> Yes
<TheAstro30> I cant get the image of him naked talking on IRC out of my head

#48 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> fucking bullshit
* helly spits at his cpu
<helly> useless i5 fucker
<helly> how the fuck can it go from 16-25% up to 100%
<helly> it's averaging 12-16% ffs
<helly> then bam  
<helly> 100%  
<DrEggman> wouldn't think it's the PSU, maybe the Aus government is monitoring what your doing

#50 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> get some of this into you Rain
* helly flashes gang signs

#51 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> people like that piss me off, it's why I couldn't do a job like Kaylas
<helly> I'd be like "knock knock" on the door, and then in their face when the door opened haha <Kayla> flashing your gang sign at them helly?
<helly> lol  

#52 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<dave0> doh now i have to get up and go to the fridge
<Rain> get a mini fridge so u dont have to walk xD
<dave0> i need a slavegirl to get my beer and pat my hair
<^bozoJim> lol

#53 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> haha Kayla is cold
<helly> she is hair dryering herself
<helly> it's fucking 26 degrees in here
<helly> and she still cold  
<Pinky> Lol hair drying herself

#55 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Pinky> I want to lose 10
<PugMug> I still have a ways to go.. I just need to get this whole blood pressure thing wankered out
<PugMug> I need to lose another 45 kilos...ugh
<helly> feel free to donate 10-15 this way :)  
<Pinky> Haha helly

#56 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> .w
<Forecast> Beerwah, Queensland, Australia (-26.850, 152.967) -- Moderate or heavy rain shower and 19° C
<helly> heavy is fucking right!
<helly> pissed down and our gutters overflowed
<helly> had to get out on the fucking ladder
<helly> which I hate
<helly> HATE!
<helly> in the rain
<helly> to clear out some of the fucking leaves
<helly> which I did
<helly> not that long ago!!
<helly> fuck the rain
<helly> and everyone who wished for it
<helly> now I am wet
<helly> and cranky
<Rain> LOL

#58 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> one transaction a day is all you're allowed?
<Rain> well thats a fucked up bank
<^bozoJim> on my visa account
<^bozoJim> is all i need
<^bozoJim> for free
<^bozoJim> and anymore $1 a transaction
<Kayla> i wanna spend my money likes it's a fucking free for all
<helly> you fucking do
<Kayla> oi
<Kayla> you fucking do
<helly> nope
<helly> not me
* Kayla nods
<Kayla> yes you
<Rain> lmao