AustNode IRC Quotes Database


#90 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<Moose> bleh need to rewrite this algorithm.
<helly> the only algorithm I know is pie
<helly> 1 beef and cheese pie = happy helly


#114 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
[July 15, 2020 03:18:59 pm] <bork> Aaaaaaaafternoon
[July 15, 2020 03:19:06 pm] <Rain> hey tork the bork xD
[July 15, 2020 03:19:16 pm] <bork> ^^ yeah!
[July 15, 2020 03:19:38 pm] <Just_Pax> bork man ;)
[July 15, 2020 03:19:41 pm] * bork has been cleared by the doc
[July 15, 2020 03:19:47 pm] <Rain> great news
[July 15, 2020 03:19:50 pm] <Just_Pax> ooooh :)
[July 15, 2020 03:19:54 pm] <bork> No serious probs. They want to look in my gi
[July 15, 2020 03:19:55 pm] * Rain gives bork some beers
[July 15, 2020 03:19:56 pm] <Just_Pax> sweet :)
[July 15, 2020 03:19:58 pm] <bork> Tum though
[July 15, 2020 03:20:03 pm] <bork> Endoscope soon
[July 15, 2020 03:20:12 pm] <Rain> is that where they shove a cam up ur butt bork?
[July 15, 2020 03:20:22 pm] <Just_Pax> no rain :P
[July 15, 2020 03:20:31 pm] <Just_Pax> that's a colonoscopy


#116 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
[July 30, 2020 09:46:23 pm] <bork> Damn when did 10gb Ethernet rock up? And cat7
[July 30, 2020 09:46:43 pm] <Just_Pax> While you were sleeping ;)
[July 30, 2020 09:47:18 pm] <bork> That's nuts. I remember being stuck on the old 10mbit coax token ring network back in school.....
[July 30, 2020 09:47:22 pm] <bork> Lol
[July 30, 2020 09:47:31 pm] <Just_Pax> no doubt it's been used in commerce for awhile, but not domestically
[July 30, 2020 09:47:53 pm] <Just_Pax> hehe
[July 30, 2020 09:48:48 pm] <Just_Pax> LAN parties back in the old days
[July 30, 2020 09:49:39 pm] <bork> True. Big business gets the goods first.


#16 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> I feel attacked, I posted QUEENSLANDER! in a Go The Blues thread in a forum I visit. Their reply was - I hope we aren't typing to fast for you  
* helly cries
<Pinky> Hahahahhaha
<Kayla> suck it\


#15 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<helly> it's not even that cold ffs
<Kayla> shut up, i love my air con
<helly> yet Kayla is blasting the aircon at 26, I am sweating my arse off haha
<Kayla> shit, lets not move to Tassie


#38 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> our internet seems to be playing up a bit last night/today too
<Kayla> helly thinks that smallest brat has tried to do something to it lol


#21 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<Crissy> i was stoned lst night
<PugMug> my son bought me a half gram of pineapple express in a vape cartridge
<Pinky> Is that a flavoured mull mix?
<PugMug> yes
<Pinky> Sounds fancy  
<PugMug> meh.. it's okay... it gets me stoned without all the mess.. so that's a bonus


#68 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Rain> whats kayla doing now
<helly> they've been smashing out the big bash ads lately
<helly> Kayla is reading
<helly> ofcourse
<Rain> of course lol
<Rain> surprised she doesnt become a teacher
<Rain> or a librayian
<Rain> read read read lol
<helly> lol
<helly> I know right
<helly> she picked up 4 new books on Monday
<Rain> what kind this time?
<helly> same shit as usual
<helly> it's a series she is reading
<Rain> ohh 4 books geez
<Rain> that give her a good few days to read them all
<helly> she's half way through one of them
<helly> by the looks of it
<Rain> fuck shes a fast reader lol
<helly> I like to put her books back a page or two
<helly> when she is not looking
<Rain> LMAO
<Rain> thats fkn mean ;p
<helly> hahaha yep
<helly> I do it to the kids too


#35 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<Kayla> omg helly was biting his nails and now they're on my clean floor
<mozza> ewwwwwwwwwwwwww
<mozza> thast gross
* Kayla nods
<helly> to be fair, I was trying to spit them at Kayla across the room
<Kayla> he stopped biting for ages, had him trained and shit


#89 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Just_Pax> Ugh, still not cold enough
<Just_Pax> i like mine frosty cold
<Just_Pax> you know how you get cola so cold, that when you open it up and it starts freezing and turns into a slush puppy?
<Just_Pax> then you have to squeeze it out into a glass and it looks like the bottle is taking a shit?
<helly> lmfao I never get that


#112 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
[June 28, 2020 03:48:54 pm] <Moose> 1AM. Perfect time to make mac and cheese.
[June 28, 2020 03:49:28 pm] <Just_Pax> acid and cheese ;)
[June 28, 2020 03:49:49 pm] <Just_Pax> trippin' while you're dippin ;)
[June 28, 2020 03:50:06 pm] <Moose> No. Just no.
[June 28, 2020 03:50:45 pm] <Just_Pax> fondue kit on an acid trip ;)
[June 28, 2020 03:51:04 pm] <Janet> I'd be in a lot of trouble if I was allergic to semen.
[June 28, 2020 03:51:25 pm] <Just_Pax> dont spill it on your lap or it'll go splat


#96 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<Rain> The generation that lived through the Great Depression was stereotyped as being thrifty and careful with money.
<Rain> Our generation will be known for having a great affinity for the collection of toilet paper and baked beans.
<Rain> xD


#119 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
[September 07, 2020 03:22:24 pm] <Just_Pax> i is drinking more coffee ;)
[September 07, 2020 03:24:48 pm] <Rain> good man
[September 07, 2020 03:24:56 pm] <Rain> that keep ur up for many hrs
[September 07, 2020 03:25:12 pm] <Just_Pax> that's the plan, man ;)
[September 07, 2020 03:26:09 pm] <Just_Pax> caffeine makes an extremely good laxative too, i have found :P
[September 07, 2020 03:30:16 pm] <Just_Pax> it'll give ya the squirtles if your not careful ;)
[September 07, 2020 03:33:51 pm] <Rain> lol
[September 07, 2020 03:33:56 pm] <Rain> hahah


#97 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<Rain> we should execute toilet paper hoarders  would increase the average IQ a bit too I suspect  a smarter australia
<Rain> Make Australia Clever Again!
<Rain> Dob in a hoarder today!
<Rain> that's scomos next election slogon
<Rain> ;p
<Just_Pax> He's probably one of them :P


#46 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<DrEggman> I'm in the shower
<TheAstro30> with your phone talking on IRC?
<Rain> waterproof phone ?
<DrEggman> Yes
<TheAstro30> I cant get the image of him naked talking on IRC out of my head


#25 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<musicdrummer> Parking is as bad as driving in LA
<Pinky> I can pack my car into a good space too
<musicdrummer> I guess you're driving
<Pinky> Nah I'll need to fly


#88 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
* Just_Pax pokes rain, repeatedly......
<Just_Pax> In the ribs ;)
* Rain kicks just_pax in the balls
* PugMug *pokes* Rain
* Rain gets poked
* Just_Pax pokes rain, repeatedly......
<Just_Pax> Again ;)
* Rain kicks just_pax in the ballz again
<Rain> ;]
<Just_Pax> hmmmmmmmm
<Just_Pax> ow.
<Just_Pax> This is not working......
* Just_Pax gets rain drunk ;)
<Rain> no thanks :)
* Just_Pax ties Rain's leg's together
* Just_Pax soaks a rag in diethyl ether
* Just_Pax smothers rains face in it ;)
<Just_Pax> hahahahahaha
* Just_Pax watches as rain passes out.
* Just_Pax pokes rain ;)
<Just_Pax> now there's one for the IRC quote book ;) How do i post it?
<Just_Pax> :P


#115 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
[July 28, 2020 02:03:42 am] <Rain> woahhhh
[July 28, 2020 02:03:46 am] <Rain> its pissing outsideeee
[July 28, 2020 02:03:52 am] <Rain> splash splash
[July 28, 2020 02:04:02 am] <^bozoJim> it is a pea soup fog out
[July 28, 2020 02:04:27 am] <Rain> sounds like a drunk bogan using a water cannon outside
[July 28, 2020 02:04:35 am] <Rain> strong winds like astros farts
[July 28, 2020 02:04:39 am] <Rain> damn
[July 28, 2020 02:04:40 am] <^bozoJim> lol
[July 28, 2020 02:05:15 am] <Rain> why tassie always cold lol
[July 28, 2020 02:05:25 am] <^bozoJim> as we are halfway to Antartica
[July 28, 2020 02:05:32 am] <Rain> ohh
[July 28, 2020 02:05:41 am] * Rain pushs tassie bit further out ;p
[July 28, 2020 02:05:55 am] <^bozoJim> lol
[July 28, 2020 02:06:05 am] <Rain> now u could reach -5c
[July 28, 2020 02:06:17 am] <^bozoJim> hook Astro up to a power plant
[July 28, 2020 02:06:21 am] <Rain> erm that cant be right
[July 28, 2020 02:06:23 am] <Rain> lmao
[July 28, 2020 02:06:28 am] <^bozoJim> free gas to drive turbines
[July 28, 2020 02:06:31 am] <Rain> hahahah
[July 28, 2020 02:06:45 am] <Rain> yeah would save so much on power


#23 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<Kayla> haha no one listens to you
* helly cattle prods Kayla
<Kayla> :o
<Kayla> how rude
<helly> I'll show you something rude!
<Kayla> no thanks
<helly> :o
<Rain> LOL
<Rain> told!
<Kayla> he knows his place, he just tests the boundaries sometimes...like a child  


#29 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> though will enjoy my bed tonight!
<helly> errr
<helly> I have to share with you again??  
<mozza> omg
<mozza> shut up helly :P
<mozza> kayla put him on the lounge haha  
<helly> that's her spot lol
<mozza> lmaooooooooooooo  


#103 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<+Quackers> -._,.-°`'°-._,.-°`'° /_^{   QWAAACK
<+Quackers> The duck escapes.     ·°'`'°-.,¸¸.·°'`
<+Just_Pax> *My fuck escapes.*
<+Just_Pax> Darnit.....
<+Just_Pax> There goes my Live action!
<+Just_Pax> yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!!!!
<+Quackers> -.,,.-°''°-.,,.-°''° \_O{   QWACK
* +Just_Pax makes the turtleman action sound
<+Quackers> The duck escapes.     ·°'`'°-.,¸¸.·°'`
<Just_Pax> ;)


#102 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Rain> you know what they say when you run out of toilet paper "be a man use your hand"
<StudMuffin> lol
<Rain> hehe


#60 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<Kayla> all good, helly's up now :)
<Rain> u mean his off his game lol
<Kayla> sighing and shit about having to do it, but doing it all the same
<Rain> awww
<Rain> tell him to get over it
<Rain> ;p
<Rain> u come with the package
<Rain> haha
<Rain> ;p
<Kayla> haha no need to antagonise him...at least until after he's done it
<Kayla> :D
<Rain> lolz
<Rain> u can always signing back to him
<Rain> gang signs style!
<Kayla> my gang signs look like there's something seriously wrong with me
<Rain> hahahha
<Kayla> have no idea what i'm doing, so just do spaz hands and pull weird faces haha
<Rain> lmao
<Rain> silly kayla ;p
* Kayla nods
<Rain> ok why dont you sigh back at him ;p
<Kayla> he's too busy sighing and stomping to hear
<Rain> ahh his angry lol
<Kayla> nah
<Kayla> just gets sick of me making him do shit
<Rain> you don't need pot holes in ya floors cause of the stomping ;)
<Kayla> haha
<Kayla> lucky we got concrete under the tiles huh
* Rain nods def
<Rain> <Kayla> just gets sick of me making him do shit <---kids can't help?
<Rain> airtask the job ? :)
<Kayla> lol
<Kayla> oh no, he's snooping
<Kayla> shh
* Rain hides
* Rain waves to helly
<Rain> lol
<helly> err
<helly> I did not stomp you bitch
<Rain> lolz heya helly :)
<helly> I did sigh, I was in a good rotation
<helly> yo


#113 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
[July 10, 2020 06:35:13 am] * SmellyAnus farts
[July 10, 2020 06:37:14 am] <Rain> with ur stench i doubt the wuhan virus could surivie in ur zone xD
[July 10, 2020 06:37:40 am] <Rain> instant spray and murdered gone
[July 10, 2020 06:38:33 am] <SmellyAnus> lol
[July 10, 2020 06:38:46 am] * SmellyAnus farts again
[July 10, 2020 06:38:49 am] <SmellyAnus> x_x
[July 10, 2020 06:42:39 am] * Rain holds a sermon on the pub floor ....
[July 10, 2020 06:45:14 am] <Rain> dearly beloved fartasses, SmellyAnus was a gassy person who farted majority of his life, in his final moments of anti-stench freedom, he enjoyed IRC and making youtube videos, in his final moments he went to maccas came back farted and passed away
[July 10, 2020 06:45:23 am] <SmellyAnus> lol
[July 10, 2020 06:45:47 am] <Rain> may he be remembered as gassy gus :)
[July 10, 2020 06:45:52 am] <Rain> the end
[July 10, 2020 06:45:54 am] <Rain> xD


#64 (+|-) (Rated: 4)
<Sarah> Hmmm. I think the good glass is in your lovely daughters room as a makeup cleaning cup
<helly> stop rubbing it in Sarah


#2 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<helly> fuck
<helly> stinky
<helly> stinky
<helly> stinky
<helly> dog
* helly gags
<helly> haha
* Kayla dies
<helly> Kayla is waving it away with her book
<Kayla> blowing it your way
<Kayla> if i'm dying, so are you
<helly> it smells like she ate something dead
<helly> and then shat it out
<helly> and then ate it again
<helly> and then farted
<Kayla> her guts are rancid
<Kayla> take her to the vet
<helly> they'd just say there's nothing they can do
<helly> and offer to put her down
<helly> lol
<Kayla> she'd smell better dead than she does right now
<Rain> roflmao
<Rain> sure tablets can do something?
<Rain> poor dog
<Rain> but u both r smelling it bad lol
<Kayla> maybe charcol tablets...i hear theyre good for stomach issues


#41 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<TheAstro30> my tits stink
<TheAstro30> i must lactate or some shit
<helly> you're a dairy factory! :P  
<helly> milk and cheese
<TheAstro30> LMFAO
<TheAstro30> fuck YOU!
<helly> comon' that was good hahah


#101 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<Moose> I'm terrified of making lefts cause NJ doesnt have left turns. Everyone is routed through the right lanes. Here they have lefts with dedicated turn lanes and lights.
<Moose> I end up making 3 rights cause I dont trust the left hand turn lights. >.>
<PugMug> I hate that... and if you're not careful.. you'll circle a mall
<Moose> Lmao it's cute you think we have malls here
<PugMug> in NJ
<Moose> Ah yeah. Theres one every 5 feet.
<Moose> Born and raised there
<Moose> Been to almost every mall in the state.
<PugMug> I've been to NJ... hated it.. I swear when they were making the road.. they tossed some noodles on the floor and said.. that'll do
<Moose> Lmao
<Rain> <PugMug> I've been to NJ... hated it.. I swear when they were making the road.. they tossed some noodles on the floor and said.. that'll do <--should have offered some weed that'll make them do a better job ;p
<PugMug> lol


#1 (+|-) (Rated: 4)
<Kayla> <helly> but nobody cares about that --- you still complaining?
<Kayla> evening everyone :)
<^bozoJim> hello Kayla
<Kayla> heya jim
<Rain> lmao kayla


#92 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<mozza> wow this southerly is really blowing up
<TheAstro30> now
<TheAstro30> i need a pee
<TheAstro30> fml
<TheAstro30> don't wanna get up
<mozza> too much info
<TheAstro30> can someone help me?
<mozza> nope
<TheAstro30> i need a rubber hose
<TheAstro30> about 1" in diameter
<mozza> asif anyone hekp u pee
<TheAstro30> so I can run it out the window
<mozza> calla  nurse :p
<TheAstro30> well
<TheAstro30> you could always pee for me
<mozza> nope this monitor is air safe and liquid safe so im safe :P~~~~~~
<TheAstro30> or I might just sit here and piss my pants...
<mozza> you could do that :)
<TheAstro30> i need a smoke anyway so I'll kill 2 birds with one big ass stone
<TheAstro30> oh wait
<mozza> ha ha ha
<mozza> no no no goooo
<TheAstro30> those empty long neck bottles on the floor...
<mozza> ewwww
<mozza> think ill go play with ym horses
<TheAstro30> im kidding fuck
<mozza> my name is mozza :P
<TheAstro30> you dont respond to "fuck"? coz you just did...
<mozza> nope
<TheAstro30> k brb
<mozza> just thought u dodnt know my name
<mozza> was being helpful
<mozza> now go pee and smoke


#14 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<ekcdd> <AlertServ> Tasmania 09/16:05 EST Marine Wind Warning Summary for Tasmania <ekcdd> Casued by Jason's excessive farting
<TheAstro30> and bullshit, adam


#53 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<helly> haha Kayla is cold
<helly> she is hair dryering herself
<helly> it's fucking 26 degrees in here
<helly> and she still cold  
<Pinky> Lol hair drying herself


#51 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<helly> people like that piss me off, it's why I couldn't do a job like Kaylas
<helly> I'd be like "knock knock" on the door, and then in their face when the door opened haha <Kayla> flashing your gang sign at them helly?
<helly> lol  


#106 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Kayla> oa
<mozza> of bugga it
<mozza> oh
<mozza> see i give up tyoing
<mozza> shit
<helly> cut your fucking fingernails mozz!
<helly> lol
<mozza> NOOOO
<Kayla> lol
<mozza> never ever
<helly> it'll give you +100 typing skills
<mozza> or ever
<mozza> pfft stuff typing
<Kayla> how long are they now moz?
<mozza> ummm
<mozza> bout -------- thing long
<mozza> this
<mozza> actually longer
<mozza> loll
<Kayla> haha no wonder you can't type
<^bozoJim> lol
<mozza> ffs
<Kayla> or do you use the tips to type??
<Rain> lol
<mozza> they slip off the keys
<mozza> i have to use the tips of my nails
<mozza> and they slip[ and slide all over
<mozza> if i use finfers they hit the keys above
<Kayla> yeh


#75 (+|-) (Rated: 5)
* Kayla waits for PugMug to pass the bong around
* PugMug puffs and passes to Kayla
* Kayla passes out...light weight
<PugMug> lol


#118 (+|-) (Rated: 4)
[August 08, 2020 08:02:10 pm] <Astro> i have a big dick
[August 08, 2020 08:02:21 pm] <Rain> u want a gold star?
[August 08, 2020 08:02:22 pm] <Rain> lol
[August 08, 2020 08:02:27 pm] <Astro> yes please
[August 08, 2020 08:03:45 pm] * bork hands astro a fleshlight. May the force be with you
[August 08, 2020 08:04:00 pm] * Astro stick it up your ass
[August 08, 2020 08:04:32 pm] * bork shines it at astro
[August 08, 2020 08:04:55 pm] * Astro reflects in a mirror back at bork
[August 08, 2020 08:05:23 pm] * bork dies of horror.
[August 08, 2020 08:05:31 pm] <Astro> cool
[August 08, 2020 08:05:53 pm] * Astro takes pictures and uploads them to snapchat
[August 08, 2020 08:06:25 pm] * bork ghost haunts astro
[August 08, 2020 08:06:40 pm] * Astro doesn't believe in ghost
[August 08, 2020 08:06:42 pm] <Astro> :P


#4 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<DragonsBlood> Next, on Judge Judy, musicdrummer says the makes of Sherlock did a terrible job and is suing them for $5000 for lost time, the defendants say "tough"
<Pegasus`Dragon>  ha ha ha snort *CHOKE* ha ha ha snort Oh My....  
<musicdrummer> I really want to sue. Everybody liked Mary
<Rain> hahahahhaha


#122 (+|-) (Rated: 4)
[October 30, 2020 02:14:50 pm] <TheAstro30> wow, 2 and a half glasses of rum earlier this morning turned my shit black
[October 30, 2020 02:14:50 pm] <Just_Pax> does it usually do that?
[October 30, 2020 02:14:50 pm] <Just_Pax> better that and not green vodka cruisers, yeah?
[October 30, 2020 02:14:50 pm] <Just_Pax> cause green poo's are just outright strange


#49 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<PugMug> I used to have a toshiba.. I named it Tosha
<PugMug> I blame MrD... he likes to name everything.. lol


#36 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<Kayla> glad you waited helly, you picked shit one lol
<helly> haha fuck off
<helly> it was good
<Kayla> was tiny
<helly> I've obviously got you accustomed to large things :P
<Kayla> indeedy


#3 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<CrapHazard> 1st he's 3 minutes early, this year he pisses off for a piss and doesn't come back for 11 minutes then still reckons its new years eve ... then, chucks and bangs his head in the loo <CrapHazard> and thinks its monday lol
<CrapHazard> hey matt, got a new suggestion for your nick this year
<CrapHazard> "RevolvingDoor"
<CrapHazard> coz you sure are in and out enough


#22 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Rain> .gag helly  
<helly> :o
<Kayla> takes more than that to shut him up


#44 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<TheAstro30> I have a penis
<Arrow>  But how often do you use it TheAstro30?
<TheAstro30> used it just today, thanks
<DrEggman> Your own hand doesn't count
<TheAstro30> sure it does


#65 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Rain> m00
* Kayla is bored
<Kayla> helly is watching Love Island with missy, ffs
<Sarah> Kayla: someone said that Love is for girls and gays,
<Kayla> i refuse to watch that shite


#84 (+|-) (Rated: 6)
* PugMug is wishing puggy would lay the fuck down on my lap instead of playing "lets stab mommy with these 80 kg toes and see how many bruises I can make"
<Just_Pax> feed him a hash cookie ;)
<PugMug> I don't have any to give her
<Just_Pax> bugger
<Just_Pax> hmmmmm
<Just_Pax> has puggy got her / his claw/toenails trimmed?
<PugMug> yes.. she just pushes really hard down on my legs.. it's her paw pads that do it


#67 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<helly> haha tornadoes
<helly> fuck tornadoes
<helly> bring on a new plauge
<Kayla> NO
<helly> let natural selection cull some of the fuckwits
<Kayla> no germs
<Kayla> i can't deal
<helly> natural disasters don't cull enough people
<Kayla> depends


#104 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Janet> please buy my candies or my little brother will go insane
* helly wants to see Janets candies
* Janet wants to helly back with a men
<helly> lol wtf


#83 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<Just_Pax> A TOAD JUST JUMPED ON MY FOOT!
<^bozoJim> aww
<^bozoJim> croaked it?
<Just_Pax> nah :)
<Just_Pax> weird, it came up stairs
<^bozoJim> cane toad?
<Just_Pax> jumped on my foot and jumped off again
<Just_Pax> yep
<^bozoJim> yikes
<Just_Pax> yeah, scared me a bit, too!
<Just_Pax> Me to the cane toad : Errm, you're not supposed to do that to my foot unannounced
<Just_Pax> CaneToad : FU ;)
<Rain> lol pax


#19 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<helly> did you see my first act as staff?  
<helly> [20:13:48] -OperServ- Kayla has been joined to #iamaweiner.
<Kayla> you're an idiot helly
<Kayla> lol


#27 (+|-) (Rated: 2)
<Pinky> Some people get paid to sing for a living. ME.. people pay me to stop singing lol